Seventeen Again

I would say that in my life recently, I do encounter complex problems and thingies that caused my great transformation.

Things become much complex than it was, become a hard and uneasy test for me and for everything that revolves around me...

I was once, very enthusiast about my future, my career, my dreams, my perceptions, my glories, my college, my friends and stuffs..

Then I notice, how 'lonely' I became...

It is really hard to get believe that I, who once surrounded by a lot of people, hundreds of applauses, stares of amusement, warmth of friendship.... Now turns to be such a sore loser, madman with bad temperament, a guy with nothing else leftover.


I lost my passion to go to college, I think I am just wasting my money and time doing something that I don't even like. Many told me that I should learn to like my subjects since I took it. I tried it REAALLLY HARD and it turned to be horrible or rather disappointed...

I watched movie alone, I beg for helps when exam come over, I ate nothing when I was really hungry... This kind of life is really..... Pathetic, I would say...

Thank to Zac Efron and his team.... I watch 'Seventeen Again' today. I really feel that I got the same feeling as the guy have (Except making other girl pregnant)....


All these years, what I do is merely complaining....
I take a look on how my eyes look different years to years....

I was shocked comparing my youth eyes and my current eyes..


Those eyes in current life are full of complaints, hatreds, worries, loneliness, tricks and of course, some scratches of age, some evidence of time....


I want my life back! I want to stand on my own stage... I want to sing again.... (Gee, how long it had been since I stand up on the stage and hear my round of applauses?)

The most important question is, how long that I did not talk to Me, to Myself.... How bad I am as I am who own my soul but never talk to it..... Never feed it with energy... With love, With trust....

God, if you ever 'have time' or by any chance to see this article, please do help me to re-own and re-build myself........

I know this is not the kind of life I wanted it to be.... This is not what I am belong.... This is not even ME...

I want to sleep well, I want to keep smiling, I want to sing!!

From: Javyn
To : Javyn
Dear Javyn, I hope I can ammend whatever things and I do hope it is not too late...
Dear Javyn, I hope that I can make you really happy, really really happy like a child...

Dear Javyn, I want you to sleep well every night without worries and troubles...

Dear Javyn, I want you to live in a hygienic and healthy environment...

Dear Javyn, please forgive me....